When I was 19 I met what I thought at the time was the love of my life. I didn't love myself then so it was easy to think this guy really loved me.
We basically got married when I was 20. I didn't want to move back home so I moved in with him and his mother and she wouldn't let us live together without being married. Hence, got married a year after meeting him. He was already abusive verbally, emotionally and physically by this time. He drank a lot and he had a bad bad temper! I saw him hit his mother and cuss his mother out. I had had guns held to the temple of my head and the back of my head and told that if I tried to leave he would blow my brains out.
I've had NEW clothes ripped off of me as I'm trying to leave for work cuz I looked "too" good! When I finally started fighting back we tore up the house. We broke TV's, VCR's, windows, A/C units, drawers, tables, beds...you name it, we destroyed it while fighting. I was forever walking into work trying to hide my face or my shoulders or wherever was bruised the worst. Like hiding those would make the others go away.
One night he decided to take me to a club with him. Normally I got left at home as he went out and drank and then came home to beat me up.
He completely disrespected me in the club as though I wasn't even there. He left me sitting at a table for about an hour, I finally go look for him and he’s all hugged up on the dance floor with some other girl. I took the keys out of his pocket while he was on the dance floor and I actually left the club and left in my car. For SOME reason I went back to pick him up when the club closed.
He didn’t even acknowledge that I had left the club and came back so I had the radio on and was totally ignoring him asking me if I had fun and all that garbage, when I refused to answer him he back handed my nose so hard I thought it was broke. Then he started elbowing me in the side of the head. I pulled the car into the medium and jumped out with my purse and jacket and left him sitting in the car. I was determined he was NOT going to beat on me after leaving me in the club by myself that way. He got into the driver’s side of the car and that night he tried to run me over with my own car (car was in my mother's name). He literally drove the car up on the sidewalk right at me. Once I noticed he wasn’t going to stop I jumped a hedge and a little fence and he came right through it with the car. He got a little hung up so I jumped up and RAN! He chased me with the car and when I jumped over a ditch he stopped and jumped out and ran after me. I had stopped cuz I figure the ditch would stop him, he kept coming on foot and by the time I realized it he was on me, he beat me so bad that I passed out on the side of the road.
Next thing I remember is opening my eyes and seeing some girl pick my stuff up from the sidewalk that had fallen out of my purse. I found out at the trial for his murder what really happened after I passed out on the side of the street. THAT cop from that night was also subpoenaed to testify in his murder trial AND the young lady who stopped to help me retrieve my stuff. We are still very good friends today almost 15 years later!!!
Turns out a cop saved my life that night cuz he was doing security at the restaurant on the other side of the ditch I had jumped and heard me screaming and pulled his gun on him and hand cuffed him. Every cop on the scene told me that they could only hold him a max of 3 days. The ambulance wanted to take me to the hospital. I begged them to let me go home and pack my stuff. That's exactly what I did. This was the first time I admitted to myself and everyone around me that he was going to kill me if I didn’t get away from him.
I went home packed everything I could into a 1994 Mazda Protege' and NEVER went back. I visited once to pick up some dishes I needed and he beat me up again cuz I wouldn't stay and talk and have SEX!!! HUH??? I just couldn't believe it!!! This time I almost ran HIM over to leave that house and I left the dishes as well!!!
About 6 months later, he finally gave me my divorce cuz he found a new girlfriend. She was 21 years old and a beautiful girl. I so wanted to say something to her, but she was so "in love" and she wouldn’t believe me anyway is what I told myself.
Approximately a year later, I received a Subpoena in the mail to testify in a trial for the state against him! I was floored when I found out he murdered that poor girl. That started another year of guilty feelings for not telling her! He shot her with the SAME gun he used to threaten me with when I was trying to leave him. He shot her in his MOTHER's house!! She died on the scene before paramedics could arrive. I found from trial this was 13 pound trigger 380 and he shot her once in the shoulder and the bullet exited her hip.
He is now serving a 65 year sentence (30 before he is eligible for parole).
Me personally....I learned A LOT from my 3 year experience with him. I am currently re-married to a WONDERFUL man for the last 10 years, and we have a 7 year old daughter and a 6 year old son and I am happy as I can be!!!
Everyone has their experiences for a reason. The person I was BEFORE my ex would never have attracted my current husband. I went through that experience to make me who I needed to be for my current life....make sense??
I'm hoping that my story and my experience can be helpful for someone!!!
Please feel free to ask anything you want or comment on whatever you want.